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who will protect it most? [twinkling] [tauntaun mewls] - unit four, what is it? over? - well, kid? - well, if you put it that way... - come in, unit four! what have you found? - nothing, sir. we just found some tremendous deals on cars nobody wants, that's all. barkley, out. - no! but obama wasn't really elected. don't you people care? - [choral singing] ♪ obama ♪ is president ♪ again captioning sponsored by comedy central from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. the guest tonight, listen to this, settle down. supreme court justice, that's right, today on the show, supreme court... thank you very much -- supreme court justice sonnia sotomayor ( cheers and applause ) unless i believe she's coming out here. unless this is another elaborate hoax by manti te'o nemesis ronaiah tuiasosopo or as the germans refer to him (speaking nonsense). some of you may be surprised to see a supreme court justice here, one, because she is a sitting supreme
. remember when the two famously fumbled >> i will execute the office of president to the united states faithfully >> that i will execute the office... >> faithfully, the office of president of the united states >> the office of president of the united states faith fli sniem courteous, kind and forgiving. the president was nervous then. it's understandable. let's watch them do it again this time. while you're watching, imagine you're mitt romney >> that i will faithfully execute the office of president of the united states >> the office of president of the united states >> and will to the best of my ability. you know, romney is watching. i guarantee you it's one of the first times a devout mormon has ever used the fraiz, oh, [bleep]. of course mr. romney was not in attendance. there were stars aplenty. who better to spot them george stephanapolous. >> look at that crowd gathering now. morgan freeman, i think. right there on the capital steps. bill russell. i'm sorry. thank you, david remnick. >> jon: now. when george stephanapolous, in his defense, all tall people look alike to him. i s
announced the military will let women serve in front line combat units including infantry, armor, artillery even potentially special forces >> jon: wow. first gays, now women. what's next? noncitizens? oh, really? for hundreds of years before both those other groups? the point is to it's a major policy shift. there are bound to be detractors >> there are certain anatomical facts about upper body strength. your 6'4 ," 240 pound marine you're injured and you need the marine next to you carry back to safety. your the marine next to you is a 5'4 "women who weighs 115 pounds. >> jon: you're going to have tons and tons. (mumbling) with their wee little hands and their wee little feet. have you ever seen them eat. they pick up a dinner roll like this. and a tine he little sharp teeth. wait a minute. i'm thinking of mice. mice should not be serving in the military. no matter how adorable they might be. sergeant whiskers, i can't napalm you. as for the woman are too weak eument it would be a bad idea to send the linebacker to fight side by side with the pixie regiment. maybe the military could have
of the united states couldn't have found one woman or minority to fill an important job? what about instead of john kerry susan rice for secretary of state. lady and minority. triple word score >> i will do everything in my power to block her. she's not qualified. >> jon: oh, right. mccain. do you have any evidence that barack obama himself is somewhat diverse is being discriminatory in his hiring practices >> the "new york times" ran this photo the other day showing the president with a group of all white men advising him in the oval office. >> jon: first of all computer enhanced. there's a black guy right there. now i'm not saying that balances everything out but that is a black guy. and there is another black guy who appears to be running the meeting. still, fair point. there aren't any women in the photo. >> this photo shows the president surrounded by all male advisors although the white house says top aide valerie jarrett is hidden behind the men. >> jon: that's just valerie jarrett's style. here she is at the '08 inauguration. here she is at tianamen square. here she is with buzz ald
of the united states i forgot toll gently suggest that is not allowed. anyone who opposed or puts day or any other type of light between themselves and benjamin netanyahu or his april genda is an enemy of israel. you wouldn't believe where some of israel's enemies are turning up. >> big political news overseas. >> did he not cruise to an easy victory. >> the conservative party side tour 60 seats each in parliament. >> jon: oh, my god! 60% of israel is antisemitic. how did this snap netanyahu had chuck norris on his team. how did the center left pull the upset? [ laughter ] did not see that coming. we'll be right back.[cheers and] >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight an associate professor of aeronautics and aft troa naughtics at d astronautics you can catch her on rise of drone. >> the united states air force calls them remotely piloted aircraft but most people know them as drones. no longer just eyes in the sky, they are take the pilot out of cockpit and revolutionizing warfare by allowing us to see and kill from half a world away. >> we can easily make out people from five, six miles awa
. >> god bless these united states. >> in jesus name and the name of all that is holy. >> let us join together in prayer. >> let us pray heavenly father. >> jesus christ, my lord and savior. >> may god bless you all. >> we pray for your blessing. >> l'chaim. >> jon: who let that guy in thatha l l[cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. barack obama first inauguration in 2009, his inauguration was an historic event. how did yesterday's compare to someone who has been to sphwhoaj john oliver reports. >> four years ago two million people were on the national mall to witness the historic inauguration of barack obama. and i was there. yes! and now four years later, i had returned. i'm right back here in exactly the same spot as last time! the atmosphere, the energy here is electric. [ laughter ] we can move closer. we can walk closer than this. let's just walk. okay. so it was off to a slow start. we have have the right day today, right? this is it? we can pick it up. we can really move. i was expecting a few more people than this. >> just wait around. you'll see. they coming. >> this f
transactions would not be blocked by the united states. >> jon: are you (bleep) kidding me? they worked personally with these people to help them -- that is outrageous. i cannot believe our nation's enemies are getting better and more personal bank customer service than i am. i am going to have to transfer to hsbc. we can take solids. at least the hsbc guys they are going to send them up the river to the big house. >> not one person from hsbc will face prosecution. there's no criminal charges against any of the managers or individuals who lewd this to go on. >> jon: yeah, no, obviously river is the big house. by river i mean the same and by big house i mean a mansion on it. [ laughter ] so what is the actual unsatisfying risk punishment here. >> the u.s. government is expected to announce tomorrow that europe's biggest bank hsbc will pay $1.9 billion to settle money laundering charges. >> jon: oh, wow. $1.9 billion. i mean that's going to take them weeks -- [ laughter ] to pay down. why exactly no prosecution? >> the bank's lawyers have argued that a successful prosecution of hsbc could
and applause] >> jon: welcome back. my guest former vice president of these united states. his new book is called "the future." please welcome back to the program al gore. [cheers and applause] sir -- [cheers and applause] interviewer: thank did. >> thank you. >> jon: how are you? >> i am fine. i love that opening skit. hiss tear call. >> jon: we prefer to think of it as sketch. >> skit is fine. the kids will understand. the book is called "the future" by and there's your name right there. given the sale of current to the people who sold it to you perhaps it's pronunsed algore. al jazeera. you've taken a lot of guff for that for selling to qatar. >> i'm proud of transaction. it's going to be a positive addition to the u.s. media landscape. they do a great job. >> jon: are they keeping some of the current programming? are they replacing it with other things. >> they are keeping a lot of the same people. they have all news all the time, no commercial breaks. they have a terrific reputation. they've earned respect. >> jon: you know who else does that, no commercial breaks cine dlrks max
understanding on how we record our relationship to the government. if the united states wants to ban assault weapons the government should go first. and turn in their assault weapons that they engage -- >> jon: sit. [ laughter ] see now we're having a rationale logical conversation. so in your mind, you believe gun control is an arms treaty tbhoation our u.s. military as the founders intended. here is what concerns me about this: the whiff of self fulfilling prophecy. if you are girding yourself with a massive battle with a uber-government stocking up on cans of mushroom soup fit doesn't happen you like like an (bleep) with a soup fetish. but no one is going toll tell you that -- going to tell you that to your face. but the only way your life would be meaningful would be in the tyranny comes true which puts you in the difficult position of having to argue tyranny hypotheticals. >> i am jewish. i think what would the german jews have done with a stockpile of weapons? they wouldn't have been murdered. >> jon: i wish -- you can't ever know how history would have been different unless you have
Search Results 0 to 32 of about 33 (some duplicates have been removed)